The Lunch That Collapsed Under Éclairs
She didn’t like this crowd. Too many women in beige, too many men named Charles. But she was bored, so she went anyway.
She arrived late, of course, and placed her tray on the table without a word: éclairs, but not the kind they expected. No chocolate, no cream. Whipped labneh with lemon and dill, pickled onions curled on top, crispy shallots.
“Savory éclairs?” one of the Charleses asked, eyeing it like a trick.
She shrugged. “Everything can be improved with olive oil and a little salt.”
By the second round of drinks, the platter was empty, two beige women were openly glaring at her, and one of the Charleses was following her Instagram account from under the table.
When the hostess leaned in and whispered, “Will you send me the recipe?” she smiled sweetly and said,
“Of course not.”
Then she left before dessert.
She was not invited to the next one.
✦✹✦
Savory Labneh Éclairs
- ½ cup water
- ½ cup whole milk
- 8 tbsp unsalted butter
- 1 tbsp sugar
- ½ tsp salt
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 4 large eggs
- 2 cups full-fat Greek yogurt
- ½ tsp salt
- 1 cup labneh
- Zest of 1 lemon
- 1–2 tbsp olive oil
- 2 tbsp chopped herbs (dill, chives, and/or parsley)
- Flaky salt
- 1 red onion, thinly sliced
- ½ cup red wine vinegar
- ½ cup water
- 1 tbsp sugar
- 1 tsp salt
- 2 shallots, very thinly sliced
- Avocado oil for frying
- Salt
1. Preheat oven to 400°F.
2. In a saucepan combine: water, milk, butter, sugar, salt.
3. Bring to a boil.
4. Add flour all at once and stir vigorously until a dough forms and pulls from the sides (about 1 minute).
5. Transfer dough to a mixing bowl and let cool for 3–4 minutes.
6. Add eggs one at a time (I know. But this is one of those times it actually matters), mixing well after each until smooth and glossy.
7. Pipe dough into 4–5 inch logs on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
8. Bake for 15 minutes at 400°F, then reduce the oven to 350°F and continue baking until golden and crisp, about 20–25 minutes more. Don't open the oven during baking!
9. Remove from the oven and poke each éclair near one end to allow steam to escape. Cool completely before filling.
1. Stir salt into the yogurt.
2. Line a strainer with cheesecloth or a coffee filter.
3. Place yogurt in the cloth and set over a bowl.
4. Refrigerate 12–24 hours.
5. The yogurt will thicken into labneh as the whey drains out.
6. You should have a thick, spreadable cheese.
1. Whisk everything together until light and creamy.
2. Taste and adjust salt.
1. Combine vinegar, water, sugar, and salt in a small saucepan.
2. Bring just to a simmer.
3. Pour hot liquid over sliced onions in a jar.
4. Let cool.
5. Ready in 30 minutes, better after 2 hours.
6. They will turn bright pink.
1. Heat ½ inch avocado oil in a small pan over medium heat.
2. Add shallots and fry until golden and crisp (about 3–4 minutes).
3. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels.
4. Sprinkle lightly with salt.
5. They will crisp further as they cool.
1. Slice éclairs lengthwise.
2. Fill generously with whipped labneh.
3. Add some pickled red onion.
4. Top with crispy shallots.
5. Drizzle lightly with olive oil and flaky salt.
6. Serve immediately.
